You should know that I’m the kind of mother who doesn’t laugh things off as often as she should, and who tends towards a little introspection.

I wish I remembered much more often that I have a sense of humour.

I wish I shouted less. 

I wish good intentions were much more powerful than they are.

My parenting style is way more confrontational than I would like. I don’t really have regrets in life except for all the times I’ve lost my temper with my children and been more ratty / grumpy / ill-humoured than the situation really warrants.

I’m trying to change, and it astonishes me how difficult change can be.

(I’m also my harshest critic.)

What about you? Are you the kind of parent / partner / person that you wish you were?

And if so, what’s your secret?


12 thoughts on “Mamawish

  1. MotherWifeMe says:

    I have my moments of losing it, but so far they are few and far between. I had / have a dad who lost his temper and was in a pretty foul mood for much of my childhood. So, I have a big, big reason to try not to go down the same path. My thing I do? A deep breath before I say stuff and sometimes when I really feel anger welling up inside me, I grab my daughter… and give her a big kiss. That immediately alters all my thought processes. Easy for me though, because I am mum to one daughter, who has just turned two. No-one is perfect – I am far, far, far from perfect – so no point beating yourself up about it, the fact you know you have work to do is probably the biggest step towards getting to where you want to be.

  2. I think I’m the sort of mum I’d like to be, except I definitely fill the role of disciplinarian in our household, whereas my husband wants to be friends all the time with our son and thinks I can be too strict. (What he thinks is ‘strict’ though, I think is ‘consistency’…)

    I do have to really try not stressing about the small stuff though – that’s the thing I have to keep uppermost in my mind most of the time, but then I also worry that i’m giving in too much on other things. It’s all a balancing act, isn’t it?

  3. HonestMum says:

    Well done you for writing this. I think we all feel we could be better parents, I know I wish I had more patience and shouted less. It’s a journey isn’t it and we’ll keep getting better, we must also remember eveything we DO do (sorry I might have shouted then!)

  4. EmmaK says:

    Oh god no I am not the parent / partner / person I wish I was but I think one good thing is not to be so hard on oneself. I have become more patient with my daughters. You just have to not get so emotionally caught up in every little thing and realise that these little squabbles or battles of will simply don’t matter in the long run.

  5. Alex says:

    Every night I go to bed wishing I had done something different… It’s part of our nature to beat ourselves up our parenting. But I have made a conscious effort to shout less, to see things from their small person’s point of view, and realise that half the time I am shouting when they won’t do as they’re told is a fear of not being in control… which is my problem, not theirs. Completely agree with what EmmaK says as well!

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